Gap before having second baby
Infertility can often incite stress and anxiety in men and women alike. Although stress might not directly impact one’s fertility, it does add a negative shade to the journey to parenthood.
During fertility treatments, anxiety and stress is often triggered by the cause of infertility and its intensity, societal expectations, partner’s reluctance, fear of advancing age, financial constraints and career disruptions.
Response to Stress
In many couples, response to stress is often witnessed as continuous and aggressive pursuit of treatment to achieve a pregnancy at the earliest. Some others tend to completely discontinue the treatment and prefer to isolate themselves from family and friends.
Please understand that while both scenarios are often natural responses, they are not a positive sign, and the couple would need immediate attention to ensure their mental well-being.
How Stress Impacts Decision-making
Decision-making in infertility is complicated. Each clinical option provided by the specialist has its own pros and cons. Even though the specialist guides the couples on these intricacies, the couple have the final say in which treatment plan to follow and how it is to be executed.
And stress can make this critical step grueling and complicated. Worrying at every step leads only to confusion and uncertainty thereby endlessly fueling the stress cycle.
Being alert and stress-free on the one hand, gives clarity of thoughts, helps in decision-making, makes one feel in control and improves his / her resolve to face the challenges with confidence. The pros and cons can be more effectively weighed and the right option considered.
Managing Stress
Stress can never be eliminated but it can be managed, and even used to our advantage. Couples should actively seek and engage in ways to manage stress and anxiety during treatment.
Some effective strategies include:
- Attending counselling sessions as a couple to support each other in understanding the challenges, and facilitating a collective decision
- Engaging in regular physical activity, especially aerobic exercises
- Following breathing exercises, yoga and meditation on a consistent basis
- Incorporating a balanced and timely diet into one’s routine
- Getting enough sleep (7 to 8 hours every night)
- Developing a hobby to gain positive distraction
- Reading books and / or listening to music
- Meeting with a psychologist to share one’s distress and seek help, especially when it starts to strain interpersonal relationships
Handling Opinions with Objectivity
Friends and loved ones are often a great source of strength for those planning fertility treatments – just a ‘listening ear’ can make a huge difference to couples facing a burn-out. However, social stigma, too much interference, and unsolicited advice are some reasons why this option is met with reluctance. Also, constantly telling the couple, “Don’t be stressed!” can often lead to greater stress.
If a couple is facing opinions that seem negative or discouraging, the best way to handle them is to take time and distance away from the source, and remind themselves objectively about the purpose of the treatment and the measures taken to make it a success. When the ‘chatter’ becomes too ‘loud’, medical professionals can help provide greater clarity.
Taking Help from Medical Professionals
Doctors, nurses and IVF counsellors are often like an extended family to the patients, as they navigate a very uncertain phase of their fertility pursuit, alongside the couple. Given their deep awareness of the different aspects that go into fertility treatments, they do not hold judgment in any situations. Having an open conversation with them can help to alleviate mental stress, infuse positivity, and provide motivation to stay the course.
A note of caution: Couples should not wait to speak to their physician about support until they are completely overwhelmed. They should seek help as soon as they feel the first signs of stress – so that the doctor / medical professional can address the issue and help the couple feel better at the earliest.
Last, but in no measure the least, dwelling on the past only leads to disappointment. Speculating about the future is equally cruel as one has, essentially, no control. Staying in the present gives a frame of mind that can assess and cope in ways that suits one best. So, to all couples undergoing fertility treatments: Stay in the present, stay grounded and look to each new day as a blessing in its own right.
